In Saudi Arabia you can tell a lot about a woman by her relationship with her driver. Yes I call it a relationship. Because, unlike anywhere in the world, drivers are a necessity and not a luxury that is used on a whim. A driver here knows his employer’s (or charge, depending on how conservative the family is) every single habit. Is she punctual or late? How social she is and who calls her and whom does she call. And depending on the size of the car, he probably even knows the smell of her morning breath. Her moods, shopping habits and favorite drink are common knowledge to not only her own driver but also to the neighbors’ drivers. Just as an example of how suffocatingly close a driver is, when my husband cannot reach me on my cell phone, he contacts the driver because wherever I am, the driver will of course be there too.
With someone that close, a relationship has to evolve. For some of my friends, it is a nurturing relationship. Just as long ago when people had horses and at stops the first thing they would do is make sure that the horse is put in a stable and provided with nourishment, these friends first make sure that the driver is let in to wait in the little cramped host’s driver room. Some even go as far as to prepare at home before going out tea in a thermos and some snacks for the driver to enjoy while he waits. When I ask them why go to all that trouble? They tell me that they cannot afford another runaway so they’re trying to make the job as pleasurable and easy as possible.
Others have a more master- slave relationship. They scream at their drivers. I’ve personally witnessed a woman hit her driver when he made a wrong turn. And if you try to comment they’ll say he should thank God that I’m willing to give him a job. Ironically, these women always end up with the loyal drivers who stick around for years. The driver that I witnessed being hit stayed with that employer for over 14 years.
And then there are the delusional, who try to ignore the presence of another human being in the car as much as they can. They gab on their phones and get in and out of the car just barely informing the driver of the destination. When they get there, they leave the car with no instructions as though the driver is just another auto part that will be there with the rest of the car when they finish their errand or visit.
No matter what type of relationship it is, the bottom line is pure unadulterated frustration. Why do we have to put up with this? Why do we have to fork out salaries and accommodations? Why do we have to figure out if we should let the driver wait outside or cruise around Riyadh on our gas money every time we reach a destination?
5 Comments
September 13, 2008 at 2:50 am
Another great post! The fact that women cannot drive here obviously puts a strain on the family’s budget and has created so many unnecessary jobs which bring so many foreign workers into this country. Plus for those of us who do not have drivers and have to rely on our husbands, it is terribly inconvenient, especially for western women who have been driving since they were 16! Is there any other country in the whole world that doesn’t allow women to drive? This limitation on women is such a control issue with men. My husband tells me it is to keep the women here safe, and in the same breath can tell me that women are never supposed to be in the company of a man other than her husband. Don’t all these drivers and taxi drivers count? Women here should be allowed to drive if they want to. Those who prefer not to can keep their drivers.
September 23, 2008 at 11:43 pm
Something I have always found interesting is that Saudi society is very strict about Male-Female intereaction and segregation, why is there an exception with respect to drivers. Isn’t this relationship an oppurtunity for interactions that would normally be considered inappropriate? What about women that are really shy about men, why are they comfortable to be in a car alone with a man?
Please do not be offended by my questions, just asking.
September 23, 2008 at 11:55 pm
Celeritas
There is nothing offensive about your question and your answer is as good as mine.
September 27, 2008 at 6:40 pm
I know many women in Saudi who feel ’safer’ because they don’t drive. I think it’s wrong to not feel safe in your own country. The women fear many things, sadly they have a right to.
Many of the men in Saudi have never had contact, either physical or emotional, with females until they get married. I think that the fault here is with the upbringing, the extreme segregation, the many social rules and the frequent use of the word e’eb (shameful). Until the mentality changes, it’s going to be very hard to make any imrovments in the country.
I think the job lies with this generation of mothers.
November 7, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Not to downplay the importance of the questions you raised, but I think the fact that many Saudi women treat their drivers like trash is an issue that deserves greater importance, especially since racism and discrimination based on economic status are among the major issues that face contemporary Saudi society.